Health Stuff

I went to the Dr. again yesterday. I am feeling very discouraged with my body right now. This year I have been through more health problems than I would ever care to have again.
I went back in because the pain I have experienced since July ( The same pain that had me end up in the ER in UT thinking I was having a appendicitis.) has gotten worse. The Dr. was hoping after this last surgery that it would go away. It has not. Even with the pain there, and the discomfort and tears, I have delayed getting back to the doctor. I have felt more like a burden to my family this year than a help. I sat on that all familiar fake leathered, slick, brown table covered with flowered paper at the Dr's office, and had unwanted tears falling down my face. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?" I screamed this in my head, as the paper under me shifted, and it made that crunching sound.
Dr. Worthan went through the scenarios. It could be that cyst from August, could be endometrios, could, could, could.....BLAH BLAH BLAH. I mean, come on. I played the "could" game already at home typing my symptoms into Google. Who's the Dr? Who gets paid the big bucks? After 3, almost 4 months, surely the good doctor might have an idea?
So, I get another Ultrasound. If it is an Endometrioma Cyst, than he can treat it with a shot of something that puts me into " fake" menopause. Great fun. If the cyst is gone, then that narrows the playing field for where the pain is originating. If the cyst is bigger, than surgery will be required, and depending on what he finds during surgery, I might lose my ovary and uterus, or I could feel like a million bucks because the pain would be GONE.
Ultrasound findings are that the cyst is significantly larger ( I don't know how big that actually is though) and it is NOT an Endometrioma Cyst. So, he wants me scheduled for next week for surgery. Tuesday it is. Another burdensomeness mess for everyone.Finding childcare, knowing that I can't lift my toddlers for a week or so. I just feel like I am an inconvenience for everyone involved. This is short notice.
I just want to feel better,ya know? I don't want to feel like I am in labor( That's what the pain feels like, early labor all day.) Done complaining:)

I know that compared to dear friends, my maladies are like kiddy candy. I just found out last week that my dear friend Paula, a friend that I have know for 4+ years, had our last 2 kids within weeks of each other is fighting for her life. She was diagnosed with breast cancer when her littlest baby was an infant( He is 2.5 now) She beat it, had radical mascectamy to be safe. She went in for a routine scan, and found that metastatic breast cancer that has traveled either through her blood or lymph nodes to her liver. They see five tumors in her liver right now.She also got more bad news yesterday. It is in her bones. Her back had been bugging her for a while. It's in her spine.
I want to scream. I am aching for her. I am crying and praying for her. She is fighting. She wants to see her babies grow up. She is only a few years older than me. I will write more on this later. I can't write anymore.
ChristinaMaria